Relationship analysis

The contents of this page have been inspired by my reflections arising from experiences over two decades plus.
Relationship in this context can be:
1: spousal
2; business partnership
3: ordinary friendship
In a relatioship,there will certainly arise disputes, arguments or misunderstandings( for ease of reference let’s call all the three, differences) .
The direction and life of a relationship largely depends on how partners handle their differences from time to time.
Every time there is a difference, the partners put up a fraction of their relationship for auction. Some differences risk auctioning 100% of the relationship.
I have observed three broad methods of dealing with differences and their consequences.
1. The partners dialogue, and agree to move on. However in reality, they don’t forget, hence a degree of mistust,remorse or anger persist. The auctioneer has sold of a fraction. Repeated differences and reconciliations finally erode the relationship and a break-up becomes inevitable.
2. One partner maintaing their ground. This state finally leads to quick break-up. The auctioneer sells off a half the relationship each time.
3. The worst case scenario is when the partners stand their ground. Here 100% of the relationship is up for auction. This leads to instances of divorce, winding up or worst, permanent enemity or loss of life.
It is intriguing how the closest of friends become bitter foes.
So how do we cope with inevitable differences?
I have come to the conclusion that to sustain a relationship, one or both of partners must exercise lots of wisdom. Silence is golden. When in doubt keep quite. You cannot be accused of saying nothing.
My resolution is, be a gentleman whenever a situation becomes turbulent.
Always argue my case cooler than ice and when situation is calm.
Turn myself the victim even when am the aggressor( tough but possible)
I have come to realize that the dynamics of relationships are constant.
Only the gullible will imagine that it will be bliss forever. Any new relationship even in business is very exiting but time breaks even the hardest of rocks.
Let fools hop from one relationship to another. Not me.
If it is inevitable that a relationship is terminated, the best is not to start another, the results are constant. Better auction a small fraction than 100%.


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